Tell me I'm a lost and wayward son
by Zachary Finnius O'Leary
Summary: Songfic Rev theory "The Fire". Thank you NessaYume for introducing this band to my ears. AWESOME. One shot. Yaoi Lemon. DLDR. Reviews are always appreciated. What happens if Matt doesn't want Mello to go through with the plan?


**A/N Okay…so I need to blame/thank for NessaYume…If this is good thank her…if not well… Anyway the reason I blame her is because after she wrote Obsession which was AWESOME… I looked up the band whose song she used. I found the song "The Fire". Now I had NEVER heard of Rev Theory, but am now in Love with the music. I heard "The Fire" and immediately a plot bunny started fucking me on the spot. Unpleasant at best, but inspiring none the less. So one of the many alternative ways we WISH Death Note had gone…enjoy.**

**Disclaimer…I do not own Death Note. I do not own "The Fire". I do not own Rev Theory. This story contains Yaoi (Man on man, butt sex, boy love, whatever else you want to call gay man love.) Don't like don't read. **

**-Enjoy-**

Matt sat on the couch with his face buried in his hands. He didn't want today to end because he knew tomorrow was the end of it all. He knew at least Mello would die and he probably would too. A plan… he needed a plan to convince the blond that the righteous journey he was on wasn't righteous…it was stupid. He wanted to kill himself in the name of justice… where would be the justice for Matt?

Shaking hands forced away from the redhead's face and grabbed his last cigarette off the table. Placing the stick in his mouth he flicked a lighter and the crackle of burning paper filled his head. A plan… anything. Did Mello what would happen if the blond lived… and Matt didn't?

'That's it… I have to make him understand what will happen if he were to lose me.' The redhead cheered in his own mind.

As if on cue Mello entered the apartment. Throwing his helmet on the floor and stripping the heavy leather biker's coat off his scarred shoulder.

"Jesus Christ Matt you look like shit." The blond said as he entered the kitchen.

He pulled open the fridge and observed the practically empty space. All that remained inside was a Hershey bar, a jar of mayo, and a radish. 'Why a radish?' Mello thought reaching for the chocolate bar.

"Matt, why is-" Mello turned around as he spoke, his words frozen at the sight of the redhead standing next to him.

"Mello… we need to talk." Matt whispered.

"What Matty?" The scarred man said as he unwrapped his beloved drug from its logo printed prison.

"I can't do this anymore… I am leaving…I refuse to stand around and watch you kill yourself"

Mello's eyes grew wide, "You're serious?"

**Tell me that I'm hopeless**

**Tell me I'm a lost and wayward son**

**Tell me that I'm callous**

**Tell me that our life is too far gone**

"Yes Mello, I refuse to watch you be a martyr and be dragged into that hell you fear so much." Matt's words were cold and even.

**So take a breath and brace yourself**

"Is that what you think Matt? That I am doing this so I can be labeled a Martyr? So I can be immortalized on some fuck pedestal? I am doing this because it is the right fucking thing to do!" Mello snapped.

"The right thing for who?"

"For justice, for our consciences, for our souls." Mello clutched his rosary as he spoke.

**Tell me I'm a lost soul**

**Tell me I have one foot in my grave**

**Tell me that I'm shallow**

**Tell me it's enough to keep you away**

"Mello you are a fool. No one will have a clue you were involved. You don't even know this will work! Think about it! Shit, Mello… what will I do if you die and I don't? What then?" Matt spat.

"You will live Matty, I want you to live. You deserve to live." Mello's eyes were suddenly sad, but his voice was stern.

"What if I don't want to live without you Mello?" Matt's voice trailed into a whisper.

Blue eyes met goggled protected orbs. Mello started to open his mouth to say something, but the calloused fingers of his gamer pushed against his lips.

"I love you Mello. If you die…I will die too."

**So take a breath and brace yourself**

Matt moved his finger and crashed his lips against the slightly taller blonde's. Mello's arms encircled Matt's neck and pulled him deeper into his body. The redhead's hands ran down Mello's sides. Mello parted his lips slightly and allowed his lover's tongue to explore his mouth.

Mello's mind was flooded with emotion, tactical thought, and desire. 'I can't let him sway me. I can't…I know what is right.

'**Cause tonight, this could be the last chance before we die**

**Can we rise again from the ashes**

**In this final moment is the fire still alive**

**Tonight**

'I will just have to let him have his passion and then tell him I still have to do this. If he leaves…I'll just figure out a way to do it alone…either way…he has to live.'

Matt shoved Mello into the refrigerator. Skilled fingers brought the zipper of the blonde's vest down until it fell loose onto his arms. Mello dropped the chocolate bar and grabbed the cherry locks of his lover. Gently he pulled back forcing the kiss to separate.

**Tell me that I'm faded**

**Tell me that to you I am already dead**

**Tell me that I'm crazy**

**For thinking that we'd ever be the same again**

"Matt… I can't… It's over… I have to do this…with or without you."

Matt pulled his goggles off of his eyes and allowed them to fall to the floor, "I can't believe you Mello. You are going to throw all of this away. You are going to throw me away."

**Tell me that you hate me**

**It wouldn't be the worst thing you ever said**

**But don't tell me that it's over**

**Don't tell me that it's over**

"Matt if we don't do this…we throw both of our lives away. We throw the world away."

"I don't…I… fine, then you are on your own." Matt growled walking into the tiny bedroom they shared.

He began picking up clothes from the floor and bed, putting them into a duffle bag. Next he started unplugging game systems and winding wires.

'**Cause tonight, this could be the last chance before we die**

**Can we rise again from the ashes**

**In this final moment is the fire still alive**

**Tonight**

Mello stomped into the bathroom. 'What a selfish bastard!' He allowed the unzipped vest to fall to the floor. Mello bowed his head over the sink and his knuckles turned white from gripping the counter. Why was he so angry? He could do this… he could do it with or without Matt. He had to save the world…that was his destiny. His soul would be purified and he would go to heaven… right?

**We're not the same (We're not the same)**

**This life won't last forever**

**We're not the same (We're not the same)**

**Why can't we just remember**

**Scars remind what burned inside, oh**

Icy eyes looked through golden locks at the reflection in front of him. The horror that was his scar lined his body. Black nailed fingers grazed the wound. Matt had done such a good job at keeping the scarring down. He had saved his life, came when he called him for help. The redhead nursed him back to health… never once leaving his side. No matter how stupid the plan he was always there for the blonde. Even back at Wammys. Why then now…was he giving up on Mello? Did Matt see how futile it all really was? Could Mello really be wrong?

'**Cause tonight, this could be the last chance before we die**

**Can we rise again from the ashes**

**In this final moment is the fire still alive**

**Tonight**

Matt had just finished packing when Mello walked back in the room. His head was bowed and his hair covered his face.

"I'm leaving." Matt whispered. "I won't watch you kill yourself."

"Matty…"

"What Mello?"

"You… are… right."

"What?"

Mello lifted his eyes, tear filled eyes, to catch Matt's gaze, "You are right."

Matt dropped his bag and raced to Mello. He embraced him tighter than ever before.

"I don't want to lose you… whether alive or dead. I need you. Near can be on top…I don't care. You…you are right Matty. All I wanted was the safety of my soul… but you… what good is my soul without you." Mello was gripping the furry vest of his best friend.

Matt reached down and lifted the scarred face of Mello… his Mello. "I love you Mihael."

There it was…his real name… Matty only said it when he was serious.

"I love you Mail… you saved me."

Matt planted a fierce kiss on the pouting lips. Mello immediately went to freeing Matt from his vest. The tan clothing hit the floor. Lips still locked with lips as the moved together to the bed. Together they fell. Mello grabbed haphazardly at the striped shirt of his Matty. This too landed on the floor. Mello kissed down the gamer's chest with a renewed love, a renewed sense of life. He had a new meaning of Justice. Justice was Matt, holding him, telling him everything would be okay and the work leading up to now was good enough.

Reaching Matt's waistband he began fumbling with the zipper until it was pulled down. Creamy legs became exposed with each inch the trousers were lowered. Finally free of the jeans Matt lay in just boxers. Mello kissed along Matt's navel, down to the fabric clad erection.

"Mello…" Matt whispered.

The gamer pushed Mello to the side and rolled on top of him, "Let me… let me take care of you, just this once."

Mello nodded. He would let himself be cared for, to be truly loved. Matt made short work of the second skin that was Mello's leather pants. The man's want and need was evident with the erection that became exposed. Nicotine stained lips kissed the length from base to tip. He gave a lick to the slit and smiled at Mello's moan.

"Mail…"

Matt took the chocoholic's cock into his warm mouth. Gentle sucks milked sounds from Mello that made Matt moan in response. The vibration of his groans made each of Mello's moans louder. They fed off of each other's wanton noises. Mello's tip struck the back of Matt's throat as he bobbed his head down. The blonde reached down and gripped the auburn hair of the man giving him pleasure. He gave a quick tub, pulling the suction away.

"Mail…Mail Jeevas… take me. Take me away from my nightmare. Save me." Tears were pouring from his eyes.

Matt smiled and nodded, "I will."

The redhead brought his exploring tongue to the blonde's entrance. Mello moaned as the slick appendage entered him slightly. His mind was flooded. Never once had Matt done this, never once had Matty been the top. Mello was surrendering to his lover, letting his take him to another world. A world free of Kira, free of Near, free of everything…except him…free of all but his gamer, his lover.

Moaning at the loss of the hot little tongue, Mello sounded desperate. Matt positioned himself at Mello's tight ring of muscles.

"I will save you Mihael." He purred with a firm thrust.

Pain rippled through the blond. He cried out.

"It's okay Mello, it stops hurting… I promise." Matt reassured him.

The redhead bent down and kissed the shell of Mello's ear, "Sometimes it has to hurt before the pleasure in life comes to you."

Mello finally began to adjust to the size of the intrusiveness. He nodded frantically, telling Matt to move. Understanding he pulled his hips back slightly and thrusted back in. Moans echoed off the wall, voices mixing, creating a symphony of pleasure. Another thrust and there it was, Mello's spot…the tender bundle of mind blowing nerves.

"Maaail!

Matt started an assaulting rhythm of thrusts, each striking Mello's prostate with a different level of force. He wanted, no needed Mihael to know, to feel his intentions, his love. Matt was cracking the shell that was his Mihael. Soon it would shatter and he would never be the same again.

"I'm…ah Mail…harder. Please Mail more." Mello called to the word.

Matt responded with quick rough thrusts straight to his blonde's prostate. Muscles tightened around him making thrusts more difficult and uneven. Mello arched his back and let out a guttural cry. He came all over his own body, mixing with sweat, glistening in the faint light. The sight alone made Matt jump over the edge, he felt shaking roll through his body and he let himself fill his best friend. They rode their orgasms out until nothing was left but a heap of sweaty sticky bodies on the bed.

Matt began to pull away and Mello grabbed him, "Stay, I need to know this is real, I need to know I won't change my mind. Just stay."

Matt lowered himself over Mello's body and embraced him, squishing the body fluids between them.

"Mello…" Matt whispered.

"Mihael… Mello is gone, that name isn't me… I am not a Wammy drone…I am Mihael…your Mihael. You are my Mail…never again… no more fighting… just us."

"I like that. I never thought Mello fit anyway." Mail laughed.

"I think I am ok now…" Mihael sighed.

Mail pulled slowly from his lover and laid next to him, putting his head on his hot and slick chest.

"I love you Mihael."

"I love you too my sweet Mail."

Silence filled the room as eyelids became heavy…suddenly a question struck Mihael… a question of utter importance… one of those questions that if he didn't ask right then the world would end forever.

"Mail?"

"Hmm?"

"Why is there a single radish in the fridge?"

"I haven't the foggiest idea love."

"Huh…."

**A/N Ok so why completely kill the most romantic fic I have ever written with a fucking vegetable? Because… I write ALL my fiction at work…(I am an EMT and have A LOT of free time) I opened the fridge and all that was in there was a jar of Mayo and a single radish… I don't eat radishes and I have never once seen a coworker eat them. I was confused… Anyway… I liked writing this. The song was on repeat through the whole thing… love the song… go listen to it.. Please please please review! Yes I am begging…I don't get a lot, but I have tons of subscribers and favorites…don't be lazy…**


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